Ohh, Uh, Ohh, Erection

About a year ago I worked at an Animal Emergency Hospital, some of my best awkward moments come from there....
At work Feburary 16, a Friday night, a woman called frantically on the phone because her dog's penis had been errect for several hours. And was asking what to do. She says since she has heard its so bad for a man to have this problem, it must be bad for a dog too. As I was listening to her story, I quickly scribbled on a scrap piece of paper... Erection for more than 3 hours, what to do? The Vet Technician didnt giggle, or think it was as funny as I did, she gave me instructions on what to tell her.

Me: Miss, do you have any sugar and lubricant?
Lady: Yes.....why?
Me: What you need to do is take some sugar and rub it on his erection ( I am trying so hard not to laugh at this point)
Me: Then put on lubricant, The erection will go away within 20 minutes. If you arent comfortable doing this, you can bring him in for an exam by our doctor, which would be $75.
Lady: Ok, no problem. Wait, what do you mean by lubricant?
Me: Like, KY Jelly or something.
Lady: What? you mean like the *whispering* sex stuff?
Me: Yes, *laughing* thats what my Vet Technician said.
Lady: alright, if you think it will work, I guess..

40 minutes later
I answer the phone.
Lady: My dogs erection is still there. I didnt have any of that Jelly stuff so I am on my way over.
I then go to the emergency board and write 8:15 Erection that wont go away.
No one giggles. Except me. I picture this ugly older woman.

This very pretty young 25ish female comes in.
Hi, I m the woman in here on a Saturday night... with a dog whose penis wont go down.
So, I let the Vet Tech know the patient is here. They come out to ask a few questions.
They take the dog to the ER room.

The 25ish female says to me.... This is so embarrassing... I didnt have any lubricant... I ran out... *akward pause* It was just Valentines Day, you know....

Flash to Lisa taking 8 deep breaths so she won't laugh.....

Then I thought, wouldnt have been less embarrassing/easier/ $65 cheaper just to go to CVS and get some lubricant?
Awkward moment #10365: Your dog's had an erection for over 3 hours, and you've run out of jelly because of Valentines day...and you come to me for help!


Photo by Altraa