"All I wanna do is (BANG BANG BANG BANG!), And (KKKAAAA CHING!), And take your money!"- Paper Planes by M.I.A.

Thursday was the grandparents 65th Anniversary, for this achievement we went to Oceanaire , which besides the point I didn't enjoy. My husbands alcoholic Aunt Emma flew in from Georgia. Seated around the eight person table, I was in the perfect position to not have to speak to anyone, instead I got to awkwardly listen to other people's conversation without them knowing.

At one point Aunt Emma shouts across the table to Dr. Rosenberg, How do you get Hepatitus?

Dr. Rosenberg:(her brother): "Uh, theres several different kinds, and ways to get it, but typically the kind you get is from not washing your hands after you use the bathroom."

Aunt Emma: See (to her husband) I told you thats how you got it! (Shouting in a restaurant where my chicken was $21.00 and my salad was $9.50 and a side of broccoli $6.50).

Awkward moment #6518: My husbands sister Jules, has 2 children, Noel (not the boys name) 4 and Preston 2 (who were not at dinner).

The conversation:

Jules: Aunt Em, what are you doing tomorrow around 3pm?

Aunt Em: Oh, nothing.

Jules: It would be great if you would come over to the house and visit Noel & Preston.

Aunt Em: Oh, um, I have errands to run tomorrow at 3.

Jules: You can't just swing by around 3 sometime to see the kids?

Aunt Em: No, no I can't, Jules. I have errands.. you know.

Jules: But you just flew in from Georgia 2 hours ago, what errands could you possibly have?

Aunt Em: Errands, you know. I 'm not visiting those 2 kids. no, errands (mumbling)

Jules: Sits there for about 30 seconds thinking. But the kids really want to see you.. (Really a 2 & 4 year old really want to see there crazy, alcoholic, ringacholic, sunk-in-face, tanoholic aunt?)( Just look at the pic, shes crazy.)

Aunt: *Sigh*, Jules I m not coming over to see those kids.

Jules sat there visibly upset at the thought that she didnt want to see her children.

20 minutes later, Dr. Rosenberg is talking about golfing after his surgery's the next day, and Aunt Em wants to go as well, but he already has his 4some party.

Aunt Em: Shouts across the table, even though he is sitting right next to her, " Then take me after you golf the 1st time, lets go at 3pm, I have nothing to do!"

I look across the table & Jules mouth is hanging open with despair, not quite able to believe that someone doesn't want to spend time with her precious children!

News flash, Jules: I don't want to spend time with your kids either!