"I'll tell you my dirty little secret, Who has to know?"

I feel this is funny/awkward no matter what your political beliefs... (For the record I say yes to waterboarding terrorists, but I also think Jennifer Garner got it right on Alias when she cut peoples toes off one by one, and extracted teeth with pliers until she got what she needed. But to each his own, Its only our freedom were fighting for)

My job requires our Doctors to know alot of information to give to customers, however since we are governed by the FDA we aren't allowed to say some specific things.... This makes our customers very upset because they don't always get the answer they know we have...

Today, a doctor finishes talking to a customer and comes over to say... The guy got so mad I wasn't giving him the information, he said, "I should waterboard you, I know you have the answer and just won't tell me!"

Photo by isa_e

"Use Somebody"

Yesterday, One of our doctors starts shreeking like a little kid. I run over to her cube, and see a bee on the light, on the ceiling with her cringed in fear. Everyone else laughs, we go back to our desks...

2 mins later
She Shouts: I put a trouble ticket in with maintence to kill the Bee!

I think to myself, are you kidding me? You sent a ticket in to kill a bee?

End of the day comes, the doctor can't stand it anymore.. (and we can't stand her squeeling anymore either) . Another doctor comes over. Stands up on the desk, in her heels, wobbling all over the desk about to crash into the cube next door, when smash.. Its dead... But so are the lights as we sit in the dark.. Luckily after 10 mins, the doctor jiggles the light bulb around, and all the lights come back on.

This morning I'm at my desk at 9:10, and guess who shows up?
Maintence, here to kill the bee.

When someone says, we waited all day yesterday and no one came, he said oh, you should of called my cell phone number... Here it is for next time.

Photo by Kryssia

"Round the Outside"

V discussed on the phone how, everyday she comes home she finds another piece of jewelry missing. And she was requesting her boyfriend put a key lock on the door because she knows her daughter is stealing from her. V reminds me of my mother sometimes, that's something she would do- think I stole from her.
But who knows maybe her daughter really is stealing from her. That also makes me think about my mother, how thankful she should be that I turned out, not stealing her jewelry.

Do you over hear your coworkers conversations? Whats the most awkward thing you've overheard?

"Its a little to late to make up for the promises you break"

D Instant Messages me... and I try to respond a good 15-20 minutes afterward so it doesnt look like I want to become his new IM ing buddy.
We chat alittle. He makes negative remarks about people, lets me know who the snitches are. (Heated conversation that I didnt know how to get out of.) "He then told me that his daughters birthday wasn't happening... Because my boss was told everyone felt uncomfortable that they were invited."

He asked if it was me, I of course said no. I mean I did feel uncomfortable...knowing him for a few days, and getting invited to a birthday party for a kid (I hate kids anyways) an hour away on a saturday that he and his wife were throwing. I never told my boss I was uncomfortable but that doesn't mean I wouldn't "forget or have an emergency" and not make it to the party.
But I certaintly wouldn't go rat and tell my boss how uncomfortable it made me.

I mean come on, If I dont rat about being asked if I had any cool holocuast stories, I can't really complain about anything right?

Do you ever complain to your boss that someone made you uncomfortable or do you just deal with it?

When is it appropriate to ask co-workers to a not work event?

Photo by: Lookupandsmile

"Now just blow a little bit of that smoke my way"

Today D is getting a break. Let me fill you in on V, one of my cube mates as I am sandwhiched... and have 2.
V is about 50, with a b/f and a daughter. The daughter, G, From what I've heard is bad news, into drugs etc. and is has a baby with her boyfriend.

They all live with V until they tie the knot this summer.

V on the phone, totally not whispering....
"G, What do you want?"
"What did you mean did I go in your room?"
"Well, I turned off the light....---Its my house!"

"By the way, I've been meaning to discuss a little issue with you".

"I went into the basement and found... a SPOON."
(I'm thinking big deal, she left an ice cream bowl with a spoon in her room...)

"What do you mean why did I go in there, because I'm paying the bills!"

"I'm not dumb, I know that your boyfriend was clean 2 months ago, and now I find a spoon.. with RESIDUE!"
"What would you have done if your 2 year old son would have licked that spoon in your room? He would have died!"

"Oh, and the worst, part is that was an antique spoon worth $100!"

Photo by: Comoperrosgatos

"Small talk will be - just fine"

Whenever D has something to tell everyone he feels the neccessity to tell every single person. He walks up to every cube taps on the metal... Hey just wanted to let you know... Finishes his statement and moves to the next cubicle..right next to the last one and repeats. Maybe he doesn't realize that all the cubes in the vicinity heard him the first time.

So here's what happened: (Lets Preface this with... I have known him 5 days, and he was hired 2 weeks before I was)

D: Hey, just wanted to let you know that we are renting out a park for my daughters 1st birthday party, and I wanted to let you know that I am bringing an invitation for you tomorrow.

Me: Uh, ok thanks?



Photo by: Partilardi

"You Stare Politely Right On Through"

Photo by Zeevveez

Okay so the past post wasn't a amazing... I should have opened with a grandslam.

D comes to my cube, leans on the wall (my cube almost falls over)

He looks at me seriously and asks...

So, do you have any cool holocaust stories?

I stare at him blankely...As I get many people thinking I am jewish. (Hey what can I say, I've got a tiny nose, bright red hair and a passion for not eating cute baby lambs, 1st thing I'd think is Jewish.)

He repeats the question.

Me: Uh, no D I don't I'm not Jewish so I dont have any "cool holocaust" stories.

D: Uh, your not Jewish? Then how do you have a Jewish last name? I'm so confused. (And yes he was totally serious)